Whenever you say things like how you miss me, it’s nice to hear from you but… when you say things like “I miss your ****,” just… makes me feel like shit all over again. When I had to get over you wanting to be able to have sex with whoever you want… I had to really try hard to accept it. But why? If you really want to be able to get it from people, how the hell is that suppose to make feel special?! It hurts knowing that I want to share those moments just between us but you see it as depriving others and what you do with other people is just between them. It has nothing to do with me. Whenever you bring up sex… it feels like I’m just meant for your enjoyment nothing else, there’s nothing intimate about it.
I just want you to make feel I’m special, someone who you treat differently. Someone who you reserve certain things, personal things, to just me. You cry whenever I portray you poorly when I felt terrible and say you don’t know why you continue to stay with me. You say you let your actions speak for you but what have they said about you?
You say you don’t trust me and won’t reveal anything personal about yourself. You want to be willing to have sex with other people, what are these certain thing you reserve for me?
Is it how you act? I don’t see anything different when you’re with me or with them.
Is it how you feel? You keep telling me that you are missing that certain feeling with me.
I just feel like someone you have benefits with and a person you like to have around to keep you company and to make yourself feel better.
If I told you I was gonna disappear from your life because of the way I felt, what will you do?